WHAT I HID FROM YOU By Helen Kist @hkist @lovebookstours @igbooktours #WhatIHidFromYou #Booktwitter #bookblogger #psychological thriller #bookreview

Available now / paperback /ebook /





Traumatised by the death of a patient, and crippled with anxiety, Glaswegian dentist Radha Bakshi succumbs to an additiction to Valium that lands her in the clutches of blackmailing drug dealers. A psychological suspense novel that deals with substance misuse among healthcare workers and changing familial relations as children grow up.




Traumatised by the death of a patient in her chair, Glaswegian dentist Radha Bakshi succumbs to an addiction to Valium she can’t acknowledge – even to herself.

The pills take the edge off trying to be a consummate professional, a perfect daughter, a devoted wife and a not-too-embarrassing mother to her teenage son.

When increased scrutiny of her work forces her to find a new source of supply, she stumbles into the menacing clutches of blackmailing drug dealers.

A mistake that could cost her everything.


If you haven’t read anything by this author then start here, and if you enjoy this then give the authors other two books a go. This one grabbed me from the start. Centred around Radha Bakshi who is juggling everything to keep everyone happy.

Radha is a dentist she has taken over her fathers surgery along with her husband Arjun who also does cosmetic work to bring in extra money to the clinic. As the story begins Radha receives a letter she has been anxiously waiting for from the GDC the General Dental Council, a patient had died whilst receiving treatment from Radha, now she will find out if they had believed it to be her fault or not. When it had happened she had been given a Diazepam also commonly known as Valium to calm her nerves. But that one tablet and the ongoing investigation had led to Radha having severe panic attacks, she had resorted to prescribing herself tablets. Until it was flagged up by the GDC that too many prescriptions of this medicationwere being given. Radha then resorted to using her husbands pad but when he got flagged she knew she needed to find a new way of getting hold of these drugs.

If she went to her GP it would be flagged on her records and she was worried that she would get struck off. But this in itself put even more pressure on the already struggling Radha. When her son Manesh came home from school one day with a letter saying drug dealers had been hanging around the school. Radha thought this could be her answer, little did she know where this could lead.

Most of the story is from the point of view of Radha, as she struggles to manage her job, a teenage son, keeping her husband happy and looking after her diabetic father. Other chapters are from the point of view of her father Gunbir whose wife had died after a fall in the garden, but was it a fall or was she pushed? Gunbir had been convinced she had been pushed. He had CCTV footage that convinced him but the police had said the footage showed nothing, but Gunbir was sure there was a hand. Was there? What had they been involved in? That could lead to someone wanting her to die.

This is a brilliantly written taut thriller, the pace gradually stepping up the more you read, gradually pulling you deeper. I felt for Radha she felt she was losing her teenage son as he was growing up, any parent with grown up children knows how this feels when they no longer need you, or that’s how you feel. As I read of her panic attacks they are so real I found myself trying to calm down with her, if you’ve had them you will know what that means as well. Heleen has written the panic/anxiety attacks so perfectly.

I enjoyed learning how Gunbir and his wife had ended up living in the UK after Idi Armeen had driven families from Uganda, they had fled the country with nothing, finding themselves in the UK having to start all over again. He still missed his late wife, loved seeing his daughter and grandson.

All the characters are believable, three dimensional, and likeable, except for the few unsavoury ones, you can picture them all perfectly. This is a gripping, emotional, suspenseful read, that will have you glued, how is Radha going to get out of the corner she finds herself in, without her family finding out, how can she protect them all. She is so afraid her husband won’t see her the same way if he finds out. I had no idea how it was going to end, but loved how it did.

A definite ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ read for me. I would like to thank the author for my ARC of this book, and for my spot on the blog tour.


Heleen Kist is a Dutch, formerly globetrotting career woman who fell in love with a Scotsman and his country, and now writes about its (sometimes scary) people from her garden office in Glasgow. What I Hid From You is her third novel. 

She was chosen as an up-and-coming new author at the international crime festival Bloody Scotland 2018. Her debut, ‘In Servitude’ won the silver medal for Best European Fiction at the Independent Publishers Book Awards in the USA and was shortlisted for The Selfies awarded at London Book Fair. Her feminist thriller ‘Stay Mad, Sweetheart’ was a finalist in the Next Generation Indie Book Awards and won third place in the inaugural Book Bloggers’ Novel of the Year award 2020


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